DAMAGED

How would you feel if you arrived at your destination and your luggage looked like the picture above?  Broken, disfigured, harmed, injured, defaced and devalued. These terms are synonyms for damaged.

The picture above, you can see the damages, at a quick glance. Take that process and compare it with the people. There are so many damaged people walking about, in this world. The difference is the damage to people cannot be seen, with the naked eye. Damaged people have the injuries in their hearts and minds, resulting in negative actions and behaviors.

These individuals have had some type of physical, emotional or mental harm done to them. Some type of wrongful act causing a harmful effect. It could have been on purpose or by mistake. It could have occurred in childhood, adolescents or during adulthood. They may think they have overcome the issue, or not even be aware of the destruction that lies beneath the surface.

• Are you quickly wounded or offended?
• Do you feel like you are the victim in most situations and think? They did this to me. This happened to me. Why do things always happen to me?
• Do you always compare yourself with others? And find yourself less worth? Or, do you have a grandiose attitude?
• Do you feel like you need to police everyone’s actions and behaviors?
• Are you a fault finder? You can identify a fault or flaw yards away. And, you feel a need to point it out?
• You feel no one understands you and you are, a lone soldier, in the war of the world.
• Are you punishing people for the punishment of another person?
• Attention seeker. Do you play up emotions for attention? You will seek any type of attention, positive or negative, just as long as all eyes are on you.
• Are you a control freak?
• Are you a perfectionist?
• Unwilling to change, because you think everyone else should change.
• Impulsive decision making, announcing it to the world some great goal you will perform, after the hype is over, and you discover you can’t achieve your goal, you have all types of excuses and blames others.
• Never feel validated. You seek validation for everything.
• Social media is your friend to vent your frustrations and worries. Or, you overload your family and friends with your minute to minute woes.
• You may want to change, but you are tired all the time, lack the endurance. Small obstacles hit you like a tailwind and you can’t recover.

Let’s face it, we all are dealing with suppressed feelings from the past or present. The list above is not a documented, scientific finding. But it does indicate something may be going on inside you, that may need to be addressed.

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18 King James Version (KJV)

Damaged people remain the same situation, with little growth. If you want to begin to change. Get W.H.O.L.E. Why, Honesty, Observe, Listen, Embrace

Why. If you can identify with some of the elements above, ask yourself why. Some people know why they act the way they do and continue to do them. While people will not ask themselves why, because they don’t relate to the elements above. Yet, others are busy pointing the finger at others and being in denial. Have a meeting with yourself, if you want to be and do better. But, is meeting needs the Ultimate Chairman of the Board, God, to attend. Pray for God to help you to identify negative characteristics. He will guide you on how to identify and change them.

Honesty. Here goes that nasty word, honesty. Everyone needs help with this step. Because we are brainwashed to think we are always right and because we are deceived in many areas of our lives. Many people refuse to be honest with themselves and others. It’s not necessarily because they want to lie. They just don’t want people to see the truth about them. And, they don’t really want to see the truth themselves. It can be a painful reality. This step needs God’s assistance. People are quick to justify their behaviors and make excuses. Be honest with God, pour out your heart to Him. Once you are brutally honest with Him, only then you can be honest with yourself and others. You are on the road to wholeness. If you can’t be honest, because may you don’t know how, or where to start, God is the Ultimate Therapist, in the privacy of your home, free of charge, ask God. “Help me to be honest.” Honesty is the best policy.

Observe. Pay attention and take heed to your actions. Open your eyes. Really observe how you act. Trust me, people clearly see how you behave. Stop justifying your action! Think before you speak and react. Observe others, who are calm, peaceful and patient. Hold your opinion, unless you are asked. This is another step you may not be able to do it alone. Ask God for help.

Listen. Linda. Listen. Don’t just hear the instruction, (going in one ear and out the other). Listen, comprehend and perform good instructions. Listen to wise counsel. People don’t go to God because they feel they have friends, family and social media to answer all their life questions. When you listen to God’s instruction you can never go wrong. Again, I caution who do you listen to. A wise counsel has proven to be trustworthy, but other times people tend to tell you what is best for them and not necessarily what is good for you. Everyone has an opinion, everyone has answers, anyone can give you advice. Who will you tilt your ear toward.

Embrace. Embrace change. Embrace new things and a renewed way of thinking. Stop being the old you and become a new you. With change, there is growth, opportunity, awareness and prosperity.

What’s the saying? Those who remain stays the same. Change!

The steps of W.H.O.L.E, only scratches the surface to complete wholeness. However, it is a start. Do you want to remain damaged or do you want to be whole? It is your choice.

Sometimes we become damaged by an unexpected, unavoidable event, like the death or illness of a loved one. This not your fault, there is no accountability to be taken. However, it is your responsibility to grieve and to heal. You should not allow this loss to govern the rest of your life. It may take time, become whole, again.