REVOLUTIONIZING THE RESOLUTIONS

Now that January is over. What were your New Year’s Resolutions? Exercise more; lose weight; get organized; learn a new skill or hobby; live life to the fullest; save more money; quit smoking and spent more time with family are the top New Year’s  Resolutions (they may vary according to your online search). How many resolutions did you start? How many are you keeping?

These resolutions are great, but let’s dig a little deeper, more into self. The new year is a great time to start new ventures for self and family. However, what about the characteristics that need to be changed and you may be unaware that you possess them. There are traits, you can change for self-promotion and to live more of a peaceful life. Just ponder the possibilities. No one wants to admit that these characteristics are present. Honesty and truth are the keys to any change. If you don’t admit to an issue, you can never change. Otherwise, if you don’t realize you may have a problem, how can you find a solution?

Let’s explore some challenges for change.

• Are you a good listener? Someone mentions their situation, and before they can finish, you take over the conversation, by giving your similar experience. You provide detailed factors about your situation. You made someone else’s conversation, all about you.  

• Are you overcritical? When an issue does not materialize according to your opinion, instantly, you say: That’s stupid. That’s ridiculous. They should do this. Why didn’t they do that. Is this the gospel according to you?

• Are you a control freak? You feel you must take charge of most or all situations, because you believe no one can do it as well as you can. You tell people what to do, leaving little or no room for other people’s opinion. It must be done your way. Your way is the right way?

• Are you a hidden bragger? Someone mentions their good fortune. Instantly, you will express, you already did it; you already have it; or you are going to do it, with a little more flare. If you are a hidden bragger, you may not be aware, however, when people attempt to tell you about your flaw, instantly you brush them off, thinking they are envious or you become defensive. In any of the scenarios you refuse to listen.

• Are you a finger pointer? Not in the sense of blaming others, but you love to point out the flaws in others. She is too fat. He should not wear that. Look at her hair. However, when those kinds of statements are directed toward you, you are crushed and hurt, wondering how someone can be so cruel to you.

You read the above character flaws, and someone else, instantly comes to your mind. Take a minute to ponder the fact, you could be guilty of one or more of the above. If in doubt, pray it out. If you are determined to become a better you, instead of making everything about you, pray to God about you. Ask God to assist you in changing and improving self- development; and to walk in the ways He wants you to go.

 In the meantime, below are a few suggestions for the 5 negative characteristics stated above.

Become a good lister? How? Learn to listen. The definition of listening: to hear with thoughtful attention. Keep your lips sealed. Allow others to talk to you about what is going on in their lives, without you commenting on your life. Hear what they are saying. Hold your opinions until asked. If asked limit your response and direct your response about them and not about you.

Judge not. Stop judging everyone and everything by your standards. Learn to look at both sides of a situation. Attempt to put yourself in the same or similar situation. Remember, the more you judge others, the more others judge you. If you do not want to be judged and ridiculed, stop judging and ridiculing others. Many people may say; that’s my opinion. If you have negative opinions, keep them to yourself.

Become a follower. The concept of being in a constant state of control is a deep-rooted issue that must be changed from the inside out. And, a few words in this post, may not scratch the surface. However, you can begin by learning to allow others to become the leader. Become a good follower.  You may learn something, when you are not in charge. Your way is not always the best way. Most people have something to contribute. Allow others to shine, for a change.

Encourage others. Stop boasting about you and your family. Start to encourage others and give them support. Compliment others instead of bragging on self. If you learn to see the good in others and compliment them, more people will compliment you, without your prompting.

Look at the man/woman in the mirror.  Before you point the finger, at others, concerning their flaw and shortcomings, look at your image, in the mirror. If you can guarantee that you are flawless, with no faults, or imperfections, then you can speak. If you are not perfect, keep your comments to yourself.

Self-awareness is one of the key elements, you will find useful, in your words, behaviors, actions and in your life. Self-awareness is the knowledge and understanding of your own personality or character. Be honest with yourself. Say a prayer and ask God to open your mind and heart to see you may have issues. Don’t look at it, as an attack. Don’t immediately become defensive. Try to open your mind to see if there are areas in your life, that needs improvement.

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Psalm 32:8 (KJV).